Step into any baby store and it's difficult to resist any number of cute little outfits, adorable toys or other brightly colored objects. Shiny!! :-D
I'm discovering that all stores that carry baby items are intentionally laid out to lead you past these irresistible temptations on your way to purchase the less exciting although very necessary essentials such as mattress pads, formula and safety devices. Until we received our FDN we resisted the allure of purchasing anything for the most part (ok, not entirely), but now that we have a better idea of how big our Island Boy is and when he'll be home, it is becoming increasingly difficult to imagine how he might be able to survive without some of these items. We haven't yet caved in, but the danger is lurking and we are only human.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Monday, October 01, 2007
Run for the Border
Hubby and I have barely slept since FDN. We have SO MUCH to do and have been scrambling to do it all in a few weeks rather than over the several months that hubby spent on crutches instead.
We have accomplished a great deal in overhauling our home already, but have so much more to do we are simply overwhelmed, so we did what any responsible about-to-be-parents would do and drove to Baja for the weekend. Although only a few hours away by car it is worlds away in every other way.
We spent a bit more time in the car than originally envisioned, but we did get to spend time with friends, see natural wonders such as the world's second largest marine geyser, La Bufadora, (Kiama Blowhole in New South Wales, Australia is thought to be the largest), enjoy fine Mexican cuisine and culture, play golf and get a good night's sleep for the first time in weeks.
It was a few days away that felt like more and it was just what the doctor ordered.
We have accomplished a great deal in overhauling our home already, but have so much more to do we are simply overwhelmed, so we did what any responsible about-to-be-parents would do and drove to Baja for the weekend. Although only a few hours away by car it is worlds away in every other way.
We spent a bit more time in the car than originally envisioned, but we did get to spend time with friends, see natural wonders such as the world's second largest marine geyser, La Bufadora, (Kiama Blowhole in New South Wales, Australia is thought to be the largest), enjoy fine Mexican cuisine and culture, play golf and get a good night's sleep for the first time in weeks.
It was a few days away that felt like more and it was just what the doctor ordered.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Travel News
The good news is that we have received our travel dates. The bad news is that they are in November. We had been anticipating travel in October, so it's difficult not to feel let down.
Besides, we were told (one of the minor revelations about the Taiwan adoption process) that the First Decree really is the one that matters. The Final Decree isn't the Holy Grail we thought it was and I can't help but feel slightly robbed of the thrill of knowing the significance of the First Decree when we received news of it. As of this moment, we still have no word of a Final Decree and apparently that's A-OK with everyone who is scheduling one of the most important days of our lives so who are we to question this tiny piece of goodish news?
As for the delay in our travel dates, I am perplexed. How can it possibly make sense that a baby spend even a single extra day (let alone several extra weeks!!!) in an orphanage when they have a family that is legally and lovingly bound to them? This seems especially critical knowing that our eight month old is now starting to "grasp what it means when someone leaves his sight, the result of a growing understanding of object permanence." What's another 2 weeks when we've waited this long? It is a lot in a life of only 32 weeks.
Interestingly enough, it sounds like we will be sharing our pick-up day with two other families. Although we've been assured that lumping us all together has not caused any delay in our pick-up date, I am skeptical. Very skeptical indeed. We suspect that once the First Decree is issued, the orphanage schedules such things at their convenience rather than as expeditiously as possible.
Skeptical or no, we are excited to meet these other families and share the experience with them and even more excited to bring our Island Boy home. Despite all the frustrations along the way (and I'm certain there will be more ahead), the bottom line is that:
The real countdown has officially begun!!
Besides, we were told (one of the minor revelations about the Taiwan adoption process) that the First Decree really is the one that matters. The Final Decree isn't the Holy Grail we thought it was and I can't help but feel slightly robbed of the thrill of knowing the significance of the First Decree when we received news of it. As of this moment, we still have no word of a Final Decree and apparently that's A-OK with everyone who is scheduling one of the most important days of our lives so who are we to question this tiny piece of goodish news?
As for the delay in our travel dates, I am perplexed. How can it possibly make sense that a baby spend even a single extra day (let alone several extra weeks!!!) in an orphanage when they have a family that is legally and lovingly bound to them? This seems especially critical knowing that our eight month old is now starting to "grasp what it means when someone leaves his sight, the result of a growing understanding of object permanence." What's another 2 weeks when we've waited this long? It is a lot in a life of only 32 weeks.
Interestingly enough, it sounds like we will be sharing our pick-up day with two other families. Although we've been assured that lumping us all together has not caused any delay in our pick-up date, I am skeptical. Very skeptical indeed. We suspect that once the First Decree is issued, the orphanage schedules such things at their convenience rather than as expeditiously as possible.
Skeptical or no, we are excited to meet these other families and share the experience with them and even more excited to bring our Island Boy home. Despite all the frustrations along the way (and I'm certain there will be more ahead), the bottom line is that:
The real countdown has officially begun!!
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Fingerprints Fingerprints
We received a reminder that the First Decree is no guarantee - not that we thought it was, but still! Guess what? The timing is working out just perfectly. Just perfectly for what? Just perfectly for us to have to redo our fingerprints. It looks like our fingerprints will expire within just a few DAYS of when they will be needed for us to be able to obtain a Visa for our Island Boy. So rather than simply being frantic with all of our other preparations before we travel, we will also have the pleasure of scrambling to have our fingerprints done again.
And it's not that simple, of course. First we have to send in a letter requesting a redo (done). Then we have to wait for someone in the government to send us a letter to tell us they are ready to see us (and hoping that this happens any day so we don't have to delay our travel in order for this to happen) and then we get to drive to an inconvenient part of town and sit around for 45 minutes waiting to stick our finger in ink and have it rolled around on glass by a perfect stranger.
I know, I know...it's a small price to pay, but still! It seems like missing the expiration date by just a few days is just cruel.
And it's not that simple, of course. First we have to send in a letter requesting a redo (done). Then we have to wait for someone in the government to send us a letter to tell us they are ready to see us (and hoping that this happens any day so we don't have to delay our travel in order for this to happen) and then we get to drive to an inconvenient part of town and sit around for 45 minutes waiting to stick our finger in ink and have it rolled around on glass by a perfect stranger.
I know, I know...it's a small price to pay, but still! It seems like missing the expiration date by just a few days is just cruel.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
What a Picnic!
The only way to guarantee rain in Southern California is to schedule a picnic. This past weekend we attended our agency's annual picnic for all of their families. I haven't met anyone yet that can remember rain in September EVER in Southern California, but rain it did and hard.
We met lots of wonderful people including others waiting for their children in Taiwan and China, many home with their children from China, Taiwan, Guatemala, Thailand and even a couple home just five weeks from Vietnam.
It was a testament to the kind of people that adopt and to the fun we were having to see just how many people stayed through the downright downpour despite the shortage of umbrellas (Southern Californians simply do not believe it will rain even when told the chances are 100%). We also found it entertaining to see that in most cases the children (and these were all very young children) didn't seem to mind the rain at all. The adults, on the other hand...
We met lots of wonderful people including others waiting for their children in Taiwan and China, many home with their children from China, Taiwan, Guatemala, Thailand and even a couple home just five weeks from Vietnam.
It was a testament to the kind of people that adopt and to the fun we were having to see just how many people stayed through the downright downpour despite the shortage of umbrellas (Southern Californians simply do not believe it will rain even when told the chances are 100%). We also found it entertaining to see that in most cases the children (and these were all very young children) didn't seem to mind the rain at all. The adults, on the other hand...
Monday, September 24, 2007
Travel Meeting
We had our travel meeting last week - a little earlier than the agency likes to hold it, but that's how we roll - the sooner the better! (They prefer to hold the meeting just before you travel so everything is fresh in your mind.)
The meeting was a little less exciting than we'd hoped, possibly because we had just eaten lunch and were both a little sleepy (nursery preparations are beginning to take their toll). As usual, there were no major revelations. For the most part we simply reviewed the travel packet that we'd already read. Since hubby and I have traveled pretty extensively much of the information wasn't new to us, but it does seem thorough enough to make for a very pleasant journey even for those that have never traveled before.
There is one tip that I suggested the agency add to the travel information which I will mention here (just in case it doesn't make it in to the official Travel Packet by the time anyone reading this travels):
Don't forget to call your credit card companies before you travel to let them know you will be traveling internationally. If you don't do this, you may find yourselves, as we have, attempting to make a fabulous purchase only to be denied by your "helpful" credit card company (they automatically assume your card has been stolen and shut it down for you). For this reason you will also want to have at least two credit cards with you on your trip. It's always good to have a backup especially when shopping! :-)
The meeting was a little less exciting than we'd hoped, possibly because we had just eaten lunch and were both a little sleepy (nursery preparations are beginning to take their toll). As usual, there were no major revelations. For the most part we simply reviewed the travel packet that we'd already read. Since hubby and I have traveled pretty extensively much of the information wasn't new to us, but it does seem thorough enough to make for a very pleasant journey even for those that have never traveled before.
There is one tip that I suggested the agency add to the travel information which I will mention here (just in case it doesn't make it in to the official Travel Packet by the time anyone reading this travels):
Don't forget to call your credit card companies before you travel to let them know you will be traveling internationally. If you don't do this, you may find yourselves, as we have, attempting to make a fabulous purchase only to be denied by your "helpful" credit card company (they automatically assume your card has been stolen and shut it down for you). For this reason you will also want to have at least two credit cards with you on your trip. It's always good to have a backup especially when shopping! :-)
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Reflections on our home study
Our home study is long over, but it is still fresh in my mind. I remember being nervous about it, especially before the first - ok, and second - of our three required meetings (our change of country later added another required meeting for a total of four). I still don't understand why, but like the Travel Packet there is an unnecessary air of mystery about the home study process. Our agency did a very nice job of trying to comfort us about the process, but we were still wary.
To begin with, I had an issue with the name. To me, "home study" sounded like something I would need to study for and be tested on. I was half right. In reality, the home study is a chance for a social worker to study and "test" you. That fact is enough to make most people a little nervous. You get even more nervous when you realize that your "test" performance could have more serious implications than a dent in your GPA. Your home study performance can impact your dream of having children. It sounds scary, but for us it turned out to be a very good experience in almost every way.
The home study involves three mandatory visits with a social worker, at least one of which must be in your home. We chose to have the second meeting at our home and I'm happy we did it that way. On our first visit, we met at our agency, so felt less nervous about our home being judged at the same time that we were meeting our social worker for the first time. We didn't know what questions we would face, and we braced ourselves accordingly. Once we got past the fact that our meeting was being recorded, the visit turned out to be quite pleasant and was, in fact, a bit more of a conversation than a quiz. We answered questions about our beliefs and about our plans for parenting. Some of the questions caught us off guard with topics we had never discussed or considered (e.g. how do you plan to punish your children?), but we found the chance to investigate these issues together to be a very nice experience of the kind that many parents never actually have in advance of becoming parents.
Our second meeting was at our home and we fussed (ok, I was mainly the one fussing) about having everything in the house lest we be judged to be less fit for parenthood by the sofa pillow not being placed at just the right angle. We even considered that our social worker would be coming to us directly from her day job, so prepared a lovely tray of fruit and cheese for her to snack on in case she was the type to get moody when hunger distracted her. As it turned out, she didn't touch the snacks (perhaps they were considered bribes of a sort?) and breezed through our house so quickly I almost felt I should ask her to dwell a bit and appreciate our efforts. For once, I kept my mouth shut.
Other than hoping our home would pass muster, we were also concerned about the mysterious format of this meeting: we were to be separated and each would undergo a one hour interview out of earshot of the other. Yikes! What could they possibly be up to with this method of interrogation?? Once again, we worried needlessly. This time, the questions were mostly questions that the two of us had already discussed many times - questions about what we loved most about each other and what our childhoods were like. When we asked the social worker why they separated us, she said sometimes couples feel like they can be more open with this format. Huh.
Our final (well, almost final) home study visit was also in our home (at our option). This time we weren't nervous and actually looked forward to the visit. Our social worker was an absolutely warm and charming woman that we truly enjoyed visiting with (although I have to admit our conversations were rather one-sided, by necessity). Our final visit was to talk about how we would handle the wait and to tie up any loose ends on details we might have missed in earlier conversations (there are some mandatory questions required by the state that must be covered during these visits to ensure we are not sex offenders, drug addicts or anything else of that ilk).
After this meeting, our social worker prepared a report describing us, our home, and our plans in great detail. It would make for an interesting read, but as far as I know, we will never see it. Once completed, the report became part of our dossier.
We thought we were finished with home study issues until we learned two things:
1) Our social worker had decided to move to the east coast and
2) We decided to switch countries.
The country switch meant that we needed one more visit for a "home study update" and since our social worker was no longer in the area, our update visit was with a new, equally warm and caring social worker. The update visit was at our agency and we discussed our reasons for switching countries.
When it was all over, we were very happy to have had the experience and felt closer to each other than ever for having gone through it together. I do wish I could get my hands on whatever was written about us, but I imagine it was relatively nice since we have received a referral and now, finally, a First Decree.
To begin with, I had an issue with the name. To me, "home study" sounded like something I would need to study for and be tested on. I was half right. In reality, the home study is a chance for a social worker to study and "test" you. That fact is enough to make most people a little nervous. You get even more nervous when you realize that your "test" performance could have more serious implications than a dent in your GPA. Your home study performance can impact your dream of having children. It sounds scary, but for us it turned out to be a very good experience in almost every way.
The home study involves three mandatory visits with a social worker, at least one of which must be in your home. We chose to have the second meeting at our home and I'm happy we did it that way. On our first visit, we met at our agency, so felt less nervous about our home being judged at the same time that we were meeting our social worker for the first time. We didn't know what questions we would face, and we braced ourselves accordingly. Once we got past the fact that our meeting was being recorded, the visit turned out to be quite pleasant and was, in fact, a bit more of a conversation than a quiz. We answered questions about our beliefs and about our plans for parenting. Some of the questions caught us off guard with topics we had never discussed or considered (e.g. how do you plan to punish your children?), but we found the chance to investigate these issues together to be a very nice experience of the kind that many parents never actually have in advance of becoming parents.
Our second meeting was at our home and we fussed (ok, I was mainly the one fussing) about having everything in the house lest we be judged to be less fit for parenthood by the sofa pillow not being placed at just the right angle. We even considered that our social worker would be coming to us directly from her day job, so prepared a lovely tray of fruit and cheese for her to snack on in case she was the type to get moody when hunger distracted her. As it turned out, she didn't touch the snacks (perhaps they were considered bribes of a sort?) and breezed through our house so quickly I almost felt I should ask her to dwell a bit and appreciate our efforts. For once, I kept my mouth shut.
Other than hoping our home would pass muster, we were also concerned about the mysterious format of this meeting: we were to be separated and each would undergo a one hour interview out of earshot of the other. Yikes! What could they possibly be up to with this method of interrogation?? Once again, we worried needlessly. This time, the questions were mostly questions that the two of us had already discussed many times - questions about what we loved most about each other and what our childhoods were like. When we asked the social worker why they separated us, she said sometimes couples feel like they can be more open with this format. Huh.
Our final (well, almost final) home study visit was also in our home (at our option). This time we weren't nervous and actually looked forward to the visit. Our social worker was an absolutely warm and charming woman that we truly enjoyed visiting with (although I have to admit our conversations were rather one-sided, by necessity). Our final visit was to talk about how we would handle the wait and to tie up any loose ends on details we might have missed in earlier conversations (there are some mandatory questions required by the state that must be covered during these visits to ensure we are not sex offenders, drug addicts or anything else of that ilk).
After this meeting, our social worker prepared a report describing us, our home, and our plans in great detail. It would make for an interesting read, but as far as I know, we will never see it. Once completed, the report became part of our dossier.
We thought we were finished with home study issues until we learned two things:
1) Our social worker had decided to move to the east coast and
2) We decided to switch countries.
The country switch meant that we needed one more visit for a "home study update" and since our social worker was no longer in the area, our update visit was with a new, equally warm and caring social worker. The update visit was at our agency and we discussed our reasons for switching countries.
When it was all over, we were very happy to have had the experience and felt closer to each other than ever for having gone through it together. I do wish I could get my hands on whatever was written about us, but I imagine it was relatively nice since we have received a referral and now, finally, a First Decree.
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