Well, I finally got tired of waiting for an update from our agency and called them. We haven't heard ANYthing since December when we called the agency and were told we'd get updates approximately every month or so. Heh.
Anyway, the news was mostly good at a time when we could really use some good news. We are "around" sixth on the wait list with our agency, so depending on the number of babies included in the next batch of referrals they receive, we may be hearing something very soon! Yikes!!!
I also learned that travel times are ranging between three and seven months after referral, with most traveling within four months after referral. Babies are between three and five months old at referral, so between six and twelve months old by the time they come home. Try to prepare for that range of tiny clothes!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Questions...
Today we received a questionnaire from our agency. We weren't expecting it and we haven't heard aaaaaany news in a looooong time, so it felt good to have something that seemed like it was making a productive contribution to the process during the wait.
The questionaire was a two-pager that could just as easily have been filled out at the beginning of the process along with all the other paperwork. For some reason they sent it now - not long (we hope) before we expect to receive our referral. Interesting.
Curious yet? Ok, I'll get to the content. Each of the questions had one of three possible responses: "yes", "would consider", or "no". While some of the questions were basic and had already been considered (e.g. boy? girl? twins?), others were a bit more sticky (e.g. premature? low birth weight? birth mother smokes?). The remainder were all about various afflictions and maladies that you prefer to think just don't happen in this century, but sadly, they do. In any case, the answers all came relatively easily to us and we had the form back in the mail within an hour of opening it.
Is it progress? We hope so!
The questionaire was a two-pager that could just as easily have been filled out at the beginning of the process along with all the other paperwork. For some reason they sent it now - not long (we hope) before we expect to receive our referral. Interesting.
Curious yet? Ok, I'll get to the content. Each of the questions had one of three possible responses: "yes", "would consider", or "no". While some of the questions were basic and had already been considered (e.g. boy? girl? twins?), others were a bit more sticky (e.g. premature? low birth weight? birth mother smokes?). The remainder were all about various afflictions and maladies that you prefer to think just don't happen in this century, but sadly, they do. In any case, the answers all came relatively easily to us and we had the form back in the mail within an hour of opening it.
Is it progress? We hope so!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Circles
Our very dear friends were in town this past weekend with their two adorable children, both adopted. We had a fantastic time as we always do when we're together. One of the many topics we discussed was the "circle of influence" in a child's life.
The innermost circle consists of the child and his or her parents. The next circle includes immediate family, including grandparents, aunts and uncles. Beyond that circle are close friends and beyond that are acquaintances.
We talked about how odd it is that some families choose to share more information with the outer circles than they do with the child, believing that they are in some way protecting the child from potentially painful information. In fact, this situation is the worst possible situation. The child is almost guaranteed to find out one day and when he or she does find out, he will not only be hurt by the information itself, but he will likely feel betrayed as well.
Say, for example, that your child was abandoned at birth. You tell your friends about it, but later realize that it might be painful for your child to know. You decide to make up a better story to tell your child about how his birth mother loved him very much and wanted him to be with a wonderful family. Do you think he won't find out one day both that he was abandoned and that you lied to him? In the process of trying to protect him, you have now deeply hurt him.
People find themselves in these situations after acting with only the very best intentions and without realizing what they've done. Needless to say, we hope to be able to do the right thing with any information we receive (or don't receive) about our child.
So, it seems we are doing something to prepare during our wait, after all...
The innermost circle consists of the child and his or her parents. The next circle includes immediate family, including grandparents, aunts and uncles. Beyond that circle are close friends and beyond that are acquaintances.
We talked about how odd it is that some families choose to share more information with the outer circles than they do with the child, believing that they are in some way protecting the child from potentially painful information. In fact, this situation is the worst possible situation. The child is almost guaranteed to find out one day and when he or she does find out, he will not only be hurt by the information itself, but he will likely feel betrayed as well.
Say, for example, that your child was abandoned at birth. You tell your friends about it, but later realize that it might be painful for your child to know. You decide to make up a better story to tell your child about how his birth mother loved him very much and wanted him to be with a wonderful family. Do you think he won't find out one day both that he was abandoned and that you lied to him? In the process of trying to protect him, you have now deeply hurt him.
People find themselves in these situations after acting with only the very best intentions and without realizing what they've done. Needless to say, we hope to be able to do the right thing with any information we receive (or don't receive) about our child.
So, it seems we are doing something to prepare during our wait, after all...
The Silent Treatment
If it seems like you haven't heard a peep out of us for a while, that's because we haven't heard a peep of news for a while. We've been assured that this is perfectly normal and that things are progressing nicely. After our flurry of paperwork and approvals and decisions, we are left with nothing to do but sit and wait for the phone to ring.
That's not completely true...we could get the baby's room ready and read parenting books and buy little outfits, but we're not really doing any of that. We have been somewhat more aggressive in our "Spring" cleaning activities, but that's about it at this point. It all feels just a little too abstract to us still. There is a part of us that feels it may not happen, although logic tells us that it will.
There's also a practical side to our procrastination. No, really there is! We have no idea when our baby will show up nor do we have any idea how big (or little) he may be. It's simply not practical to start collecting cute little newborn outfits which is a bit of a relief in some ways. I can already see how easy it will be to find baby items irresistible. We have "cheated" just a teensy bit and bought a few things that were not possible to resist. We justified our purchases by noting that each of the items is suitable to be ready whenever our baby shows up or, alternatively, any of these items could make a nice gift for someone else. Yes, the rationalization engine is high gear.
We expect the "silent treatment" to continue for several more months before we are one day jolted into the reality that it is happening and we'd better get prepared. Until then, we will think about all the things we could be doing and possibly even do some of them. :-)
That's not completely true...we could get the baby's room ready and read parenting books and buy little outfits, but we're not really doing any of that. We have been somewhat more aggressive in our "Spring" cleaning activities, but that's about it at this point. It all feels just a little too abstract to us still. There is a part of us that feels it may not happen, although logic tells us that it will.
There's also a practical side to our procrastination. No, really there is! We have no idea when our baby will show up nor do we have any idea how big (or little) he may be. It's simply not practical to start collecting cute little newborn outfits which is a bit of a relief in some ways. I can already see how easy it will be to find baby items irresistible. We have "cheated" just a teensy bit and bought a few things that were not possible to resist. We justified our purchases by noting that each of the items is suitable to be ready whenever our baby shows up or, alternatively, any of these items could make a nice gift for someone else. Yes, the rationalization engine is high gear.
We expect the "silent treatment" to continue for several more months before we are one day jolted into the reality that it is happening and we'd better get prepared. Until then, we will think about all the things we could be doing and possibly even do some of them. :-)
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
The waiting begins!
It's official! We confirmed today that all of our paperwork is in place with our agency and the only thing left for us to do is wait.
Ok, that's not quite true. As always, there may be just one more thing to do. Apparently, my physician failed to sign the three copies of the documents required for my physical. There must be an original floating around in his office somewhere, but I don't even have one, let alone THREE. Instead, I naively sent three copies of his copied signature to my agency, not realizing that they were copies. Why should I have suspected? After all, I had a professional notary NOTARIZE his signatures!!! Aren't those guys supposed to authenticate the signatures?! And, they were notarized at great inconvenience, I might add. The traveling notary charged me an exorbitant $30 travel fee (to travel about 1.5 miles), plus $10 per copy to notarize what weren't even original signatures. That's a grand total of $60 for doing a VERY bad job. If the documents get rejected based on the negligent notary, you can bet there will be a traveling notary providing some complimentary services to me. For his sake, I hope the papers pass. I can assure you I will not be pleasant if I have to make an appointment to inconvenience myself and my physician one more time.
So...back to the wait. It turns out Taiwan is becoming a much more popular adoption program that it has ever been before. I think we largely have China to thank for that. As China's program slows down and timeframes continue to stretch out, people are finding that Taiwan offers a wonderful alternative. The children are of Asian descent; you can get a boy or a girl; the children are well-cared for; and the timeframes have been much shorter than those for China.
That said, as Taiwan becomes more and more popular, the timeframes for Taiwan are stretching out as well. We are lucky to have hopped on the waiting list with our agency when we did (a few weeks ago). I was told today that those completing their paperwork for Taiwan currently are facing a likely referral time of about 6 months from now! For us, we should receive our referral in about 5 months, which should be somewhere around February or March. From there, we will have another 4-5 months of waiting before we can bring our baby boy home.
It's funny...had we decided to adopt from Taiwan when we began the process in June, we would likely have already had our referral pictures in hand, and in just a few short months we would be parents. Our detour to complete the paperwork for adoption from Kazakhstan meant that instead of bringing home our baby in time for Christmas this year, we will be lucky to have our baby by the end of summer next year. It's funny how things work, but this is the path we were meant to take and we know the wait will be worth it.
Ok, that's not quite true. As always, there may be just one more thing to do. Apparently, my physician failed to sign the three copies of the documents required for my physical. There must be an original floating around in his office somewhere, but I don't even have one, let alone THREE. Instead, I naively sent three copies of his copied signature to my agency, not realizing that they were copies. Why should I have suspected? After all, I had a professional notary NOTARIZE his signatures!!! Aren't those guys supposed to authenticate the signatures?! And, they were notarized at great inconvenience, I might add. The traveling notary charged me an exorbitant $30 travel fee (to travel about 1.5 miles), plus $10 per copy to notarize what weren't even original signatures. That's a grand total of $60 for doing a VERY bad job. If the documents get rejected based on the negligent notary, you can bet there will be a traveling notary providing some complimentary services to me. For his sake, I hope the papers pass. I can assure you I will not be pleasant if I have to make an appointment to inconvenience myself and my physician one more time.
So...back to the wait. It turns out Taiwan is becoming a much more popular adoption program that it has ever been before. I think we largely have China to thank for that. As China's program slows down and timeframes continue to stretch out, people are finding that Taiwan offers a wonderful alternative. The children are of Asian descent; you can get a boy or a girl; the children are well-cared for; and the timeframes have been much shorter than those for China.
That said, as Taiwan becomes more and more popular, the timeframes for Taiwan are stretching out as well. We are lucky to have hopped on the waiting list with our agency when we did (a few weeks ago). I was told today that those completing their paperwork for Taiwan currently are facing a likely referral time of about 6 months from now! For us, we should receive our referral in about 5 months, which should be somewhere around February or March. From there, we will have another 4-5 months of waiting before we can bring our baby boy home.
It's funny...had we decided to adopt from Taiwan when we began the process in June, we would likely have already had our referral pictures in hand, and in just a few short months we would be parents. Our detour to complete the paperwork for adoption from Kazakhstan meant that instead of bringing home our baby in time for Christmas this year, we will be lucky to have our baby by the end of summer next year. It's funny how things work, but this is the path we were meant to take and we know the wait will be worth it.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Think that dossier is finished? Think again!!
It was a very proud moment when we packed up our remaining dossier items last week and Fedexed them off to our agency. We were so excited!! We had spent several days and countless hours selecting the perfect photos for our photo requirement. Then we spent several more days and countless more hours refining the layout and captions. Believe me, being the perfectionists that we are, we could have spent much more time, but we wanted to get that dossier in!! After wrangling with the printer to get the margins just right (a task that was surprisingly more difficult than it should have been), we packed it up and shipped it all off to the agency, believing that all we had to do from there on out would be to sit back and wait for our referral call. Not so, of course! That would have been far too easy. Instead, we get to go back to Parker Center for the second time in our lives to get one more copy each of our police clearance letter. Think I'm kidding? Oh, no.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Book 'Em!
Parker Center was, until today, a bit of a mythical place to me. As the home of the LAPD, I associate it mostly with the LA riots. Not a great association, to be sure, but it was during that ugly section of LA's history that I remember being introduced to Parker Center (literally, not figuratively!). Well, today we got to visit Parker Center to obtain the penultimate checkmark on our dossier checklist for Taiwan: the police clearance letter(s).
As we arrived, I noticed that the building didn't look nearly as monumental as I'd imagined. It was simply another building - a bit nondescript. Inside, I was surprised to stroll freely past the front desk where a group of officers milled about. (On our way out we noticed that no one was supposed to stroll freely in to the building. Woopsy! So much for heightened security.) We exited the elevator on the second floor and were greeted by a very nice gentleman who was happy to begin processing our letters. How odd. I was expecting to elbow my way through a motley crowd of people waiting for a variety of less savory types of paperwork. We were the only "customers" in sight, so we signed in just below a group of five that had been in in the wee hours of the morning for "criminal processing". Hmm.
As we waited, we noted that "digital mugshots" could be taken just down the hall in room 213, while "registration" was at the jail (which we assumed was close by, although we were in no hurry to find out). The only challenging part of the exercise to get our clearance letters was in finding a notary who would meet us at Parker Center to notarize the signature of the city employee preparing the letter. We had been concerned that the letter wouldn't be ready and that our "traveling notary" would have to wait and might charge us even more. As it turned out, our traveling notary was quite tardy and we ended up waiting for him. (I briefly considered charging him a late fee.)
We finally got the letters and admired them for a moment, before heading over to Chinatown for dim sum and to practice our Chinese. It's funny how holding a document that says you have no criminal record with the LAPD somehow makes you feel good even though you knew you had no criminal record at all anyway.
As we arrived, I noticed that the building didn't look nearly as monumental as I'd imagined. It was simply another building - a bit nondescript. Inside, I was surprised to stroll freely past the front desk where a group of officers milled about. (On our way out we noticed that no one was supposed to stroll freely in to the building. Woopsy! So much for heightened security.) We exited the elevator on the second floor and were greeted by a very nice gentleman who was happy to begin processing our letters. How odd. I was expecting to elbow my way through a motley crowd of people waiting for a variety of less savory types of paperwork. We were the only "customers" in sight, so we signed in just below a group of five that had been in in the wee hours of the morning for "criminal processing". Hmm.
As we waited, we noted that "digital mugshots" could be taken just down the hall in room 213, while "registration" was at the jail (which we assumed was close by, although we were in no hurry to find out). The only challenging part of the exercise to get our clearance letters was in finding a notary who would meet us at Parker Center to notarize the signature of the city employee preparing the letter. We had been concerned that the letter wouldn't be ready and that our "traveling notary" would have to wait and might charge us even more. As it turned out, our traveling notary was quite tardy and we ended up waiting for him. (I briefly considered charging him a late fee.)
We finally got the letters and admired them for a moment, before heading over to Chinatown for dim sum and to practice our Chinese. It's funny how holding a document that says you have no criminal record with the LAPD somehow makes you feel good even though you knew you had no criminal record at all anyway.
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